We were talking to our good friend Ron McRonovich, the Russian Scot who emigrated to the U.S. 23 years ago to sell used cars. He informed us of his new talent/skill--that of gentle rental mental dentist. Apparently, for the last few years he has been attending dental school while studying the black arts of mental control of the physical space. He has since begun offering his services, mainly renting out to parties where he drills peoples teeth with his mind. He's always been a very gentle man, and the word rhymed, so he included it in his title, though no dental work is truly gentle. But for the gentlest rental mental dental work that you'll find in town, we endorse Ron McRonovich. He is also one of the top political advisors to the Strange Cal Stankovich campaign. He keeps our teeth very clean with his mind. (The photo below is of Ron in his full dentist costume. He really is a hit at parties. 505-555-7264)
One other thing we'd like to comment on is the plight of leprechauns. Ron McRonovich's twin brother, Don holds two doctorates from Columbia University. One in physics and one in Leprechauns. His dissertation was on the dietary constraints of these poor, misunderstood elves. In his new book, "Darby O'Milk and the Little People: The Sad Truth About the Leprechaun Diet" It's in stores now. He details the devastating plight that milk has wrought on this population, showing that the milk corporations are behind a global plot to wipe out Leprechaun-kind via breast milk. We of the Strange Cal Stankovich party support Don's brave crusade to save these mythical little creatures and will propose legislation against the milk industry. Consider us the party of and for the Leprechauns.
Yakov Smirnov quote of the day: "They should sell gasoline in liters instead of gallons so it would be cheaper."
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